Adverbs and Adjectives the Great Big Fish Said Monotonously

After reading the first few pages of  my manuscript my writing group targeted in on one weakness. There were others, but this was the first burr to be filed away. That weakness?
"-ly"

Adverbs are a tool in the expert writer's toolbox. However, Adverbs are also a tool in the novice writer's toolbox. And since the novice writer has less tools, we make use of our paltry supply a bit more often. Adjectives are in a similar box. Both of these modifiers have their place, and many new writers don't recognize that place. In this post I'm talking about adverbs.

I count myself among those novice writers, though perhaps less because I have had my weakness pointed out to me.

--I want to digress for a moment to talk about weaknesses. No matter how often we are told something, we will never accept it until we are mentally prepared. In developmental psychology we talk about scaffolding, schema theory, and i+1. I've heard about adverbs before, but I was never in a state to receive the information in any useful capacity. Learning to write, like anything else, is a process by which we slowly move forward gaining new insights and picking away imperfections as they push themselves to the surface like the chip of an eggshell caught in the white of your egg. It takes time to become a master. We should accept our current level and at the same time push ourselves on to the next.--

Back to adverbs.

Reading a sentence in which a squirrel, "ran quickly away from dogs" may be more interesting than "ran away from dogs." But the adverb is covering up the weakness of the verb. We can turn to the cabinet maker for an analogy. A veneer in woodworking is a thin layer of wood that is glued to the surface of another wood to change the appearance. You could, for example make a pine chest look like a teak chest. Many people like the thought of teak furniture. It's a harder wood. It's more expensive. It may be required to maintain social status. But if you just make a teak chest, then you won't need the veneering. Adverbs are the English language's veneer for weak verbs.

If we take this analogy a bit further (though not too far, as we know that any analogy breaks down when applied universally) then we can ask, "Why use a veneering at all?" That's a good question, and it applies to adverbs as well. A hardwood chest would be heavier than a softer wood, it's cheaper to use veneer, etc.

Adverbs have their use, but more often than not you may find that choosing the right verb will better serve your situation. As an exercise I searched my entire manuscript for "ly" and changed as many as I could. But how?

It may be better to say that the squirrel scrambled, scampered, dashed, bolted, zipped, darted, skittered, or any number of other verbs. This is great when writing fast paced action scenes where each word can cost you the entire scene. Alternatively you could describe the action that the adverb is intended to replace.

"They warily prodded at the wooden barrel." could easily be described as, "They first tapped the wooden barrel with the ends of their walking sticks and, when nothing happened, slid across the last few feet to examine it with their fingers." One sentence is simpler, lighter. While the other draws you further into the action. Which one is right? Unfortunately it depends on your goal for the scene. More often than not you'll want more immersion.

Use an adverb if necessary, or if you feel that it adds a flavor that you want. There are plenty of reasons to use adverbs, but just as many or more to avoid them. I'll leave you with some quotes.

"I think my mistakes were kind of common - leaning on cliches and adjectives in the place of clear, vivid writing. But at least I knew how to spell, which seems to be a rarity these days."

-Dick Schaap

"I adore adverbs; they are the only qualifications I really much respect."

-Henry James

And of course:

"The road to hell is paved with adverbs."

-Stephen King

Aaaand...Action!

Wow, there's a lot to say about writing action scenes. I mean really, a lot. And those are only three of the 907 million websites that google brought up for a search on "writing action."

To be fair, even though google does an amazing job (even scary sometimes) of knowing exactly what I'm searching for I'm pretty sure that all 907,000,000 of those sites are not completely relevant. And I'm sure that most of them cover pretty much the same ground. But it's an important topic that writers can stand to keep in mind.

And so here am I.

Writing action is essentially the process of tapping into our readers' fight or flight instincts so that they can:

1. Have a primal physical and emotional reaction to our writing and thus become more connected to our story.
2. Experience a bit of concern for our characters and thus become more connected to them.
3. Stand up an cheer at our characters' ingenuity, skill, or luck and thus become more connected to them.
4. See that the stakes for our characters are high and can be lost and thus become more connected to them.

Hmm....I think I see a pattern here. Though there are other reasons to write a cool action sequence one of the primary outcomes is a connection to character that we would not get otherwise. When I survive a brutal car wreck with my character, I bond with them. We've got something to talk about. Only they never talk back anymore.

So, how do we do it. I'll keep this short with a few points to think about and I may come back to this topic more in depth at a later date.

First, acting is reacting. This is a concept that I learned in theatre and it has served me well. It is echoed in this sentiment by Colin Powell, "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy." Action scenes are made up of planned actions as they come in contact with the unplanned events. Write these reactions. In fact, you can get a long way if you simply write out each party's reactions to the other's. 

"Dan hit Billy in the face. Billy rolled with the punch and kicked out with his left foot. Dan felt Billy's foot connect with his groin and the pain spread from there throughout his entire body. He fought the urge to wretch as he crumpled to the ground in pain. Billy watched Dan fall to the ground and let out an audible sigh. The fight was over, for now."

Of course this can become very sterile and boring like the fight scenes in the movie Far and Away before Tom Cruise's character shows up.

Another tip to keep in mind is to  be aware of the modifiers (e.g. adverbs and adjectives.) you use. Action scenes are supposed to move quickly. Cutting out unnecessary adverbs and adjectives can help to focus the reader on the action. Instead, concentrate on picking just the right verb or noun to convey the message. Instead of hit say slammed, pounded, crushed, etc. I'll talk about adverbs and adjectives another day.

Finally, keep the pacing up by focusing on the action. In a real fight, car wreck, accident you won't have enough time to look at the pretty flowers. That would be ridiculous. Douglas Adams uses this great effect by letting us in on the ponderous thoughts of a sperm whale as it falls to the surface of a planet. So keep most of your description for other scenes and during an action sequence try to imagine what your characters would notice.

Action scenes can be fun to write and read, but they can also be dreadful. Above all, make sure that when you read the scene YOU are interested the whole time.

Have fun writing.

Music in books: Continued

To start off, this post is a continuation from yesterday's. But the real story is that I was reading the work of one of my fellow writers in my critique group and I got to wondering how to put music to the page in a story. There are a few ways to handle music in books. I've seen plenty though I can't remember all of them. Here are a few:

• J.R.R Tolkien - The Hobbit (and I guess the Lord of the Rings is also similar): Tolkien shares long, wonderful, and lore filled lyrics. But he bookends them heavily with the reactions of his characters. Especially useful here is his line from The Hobbit "...this is like a fragment of their song, if it can be like their song without their music." 
• Lord of the Rings: I think it's handle in a similar manner, but I don't remember specifics.
• Terry Brooks - The Wishsong of Shannara: The wishsong is used in multiple books as a type of magic. I don't remember specifically, but I think that lyrics are eschewed here in favor of effect. Saying things like, he sang them a summer day. (That's not a quote, just an example of type.)
• Alan Dean Foster - Spellsinger series: This is a comic series and uses the same method of description of effect rather than lyric.
• Piers Anthony: I don't recall the title of the book, but one character performed magic by creating and singing rhymes. The rhymes were all one or two lines, so they hardly count as songs. It was easy to read and didn't detract from the narrative because it was part of the fun to see what rhyme he could use to solve each problem as it came up.
• Frank Herbert - Dune: In this he distinguishes poems from songs. The poems are somewhat longer as I recall. He does give us a short bawdy song. The lyrics are well made and fit the scene, but they are easily skipped.
• Garth Nix - Lirael: Nix is a wonderful and inventive storyteller who uses music as a part of his magic system again. This time there are no lyrics, only music, so he can focus on the effect.
• C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew: One of my favorite uses of music in a book is found here when Aslan sings Narnia into being. A wonderful scene in the book which again focuses on effect without lyrics. 

That's a very small sampling, but includes some very fine books. I'm especially fond of Garth Nix as a writer because of his unique voice and style.

Now here are my ideas about music:

It's all about effect. I have rarely read a poem in a novel that has moved me the way they book says it moved the character. And let's be honest, if I heard the music from this foreign culture it might sound really bad to me even though it was supposed to be a moving ballad. The strength of a book is the ability to describe characters thoughts, feelings, reactions.

If I have a bard singing a song and I say, "The youth of the village gathered around her with wide eyes. They sat drinking in her music well into the night and rebelled at their parents insistence that the dying embers of the fire pits meant that they must leave their listening seats." Well, now you know what the music did. If I told you the name of the bards song was an epic poem called "The eternal battle of Veras and Nir." you might be interested in the poem, but it probably wouldn't have the same effect on you as the children in the story. You don't have the haunting tune, the slow tap of the minstrel's hand upon the belly of her lute, or the perfect variations of her voice.

In short, you may have a wonderful poem, but it will never be music. As Tolkien said, "...if it can be like their song without their music."

So here is the fix. Figure out your goal. Do you want to wow your audience with your poetic ability? If so, then practice your poetry. Learn how to really write a poem. Learn to craft words so precise and powerful that the reader cannot help but drink them in. But be aware that any poem will break the flow of the story. Make sure that the words of your poem fit your world, and the skill level of the in story writer. The poetry should draw a reader further into the story. It is no longer a stand alone piece of art, it must be powerful in conjunction with the prose.

If your goal is not poetic greatness, then think about how much of the poem needs to be in the book. Often one or two lines will be enough, especially if those are the lines that mean something to the characters.

If your goal is to create a sense of music in the scene, think of the words that you use in your prose. Lean on your poetic skills in the way you craft your sentences. Look at what that music does to the world in your book. Music is powerful. Show us what happens when your world has it. Show us how the singer halts in tears each time the chorus returns to his children who were lost in the fire. Show us how the heroes rise up in response to the anthem of their comrades as the music echoes through the mist like a brigade of long lost friends.

Show us what the characters think of the light brigade, because we may not know what that means.

BUT! If you want to expand your world and give it depth, then write your songs. Build a story around the song that is so full that your readers want to know it. Put the lyrics right there on the page, but be aware the readers can skip it. I have never felt like I am missing something by not reading the words to a song on a page, but I have read a song on the page an felt like I was missing the meaning. Poetry takes training to read and to write. I love me some good old fashioned poems, but the only poems that I read in books are the poems that are books. I read Shakespeare. I read Homer. And I will read your poem, but only if the story was good enough for me to go back and want to find out what I missed.

Put your poetry in, but be aware that it can be skipped. If it can't be skipped, then have your character analyze it. We are reading what your character thinks, senses, and cares about. If you want to break down a poem so much that we really read it, then have your character really read it. As your character comes to understand the meaning (this is often done with prophecies) so will we.

Wow, this was long. So, I'll sum up.

• Focus on effect, and then put your lyrics in if you want. 
• If the lyrics are important then have your characters recall or think about them often. 
• Don't sacrifice the story for the poem. 
• If you have to choose between story and poem, then choose. Publish a poem if that's the most important part. Otherwise, give us a good story. 
• Don't confuse music with lyrics. 
• Lyrics and poetry have power, but they are different from music.

Good luck, good writing, I'll see you again tomorrow.