Taking Criticism, or "Mommy, I can do it all by myself."

I'm meeting with a new writer's/critique group this week and someone brought up the topic of taking criticism. He mentioned a rule that I've heard numerous times, and it is this:

When taking criticism about your piece, shut up and listen.

He didn't say those exact words, but the idea is the same. If you submit your work for criticism or feedback then when you get the feedback you need to listen. I think there are some great reasons to have this rule, and I'll also list a few reasons why it might not be for you.

First, one main idea behind this is that there is an immediate impulse to defend or explain your work. Most often I have heard people say things like, "What I meant was...", "If you keep reading then you'll find out...", or "If you could see in my head then you'd see how perfect it really is."

Ok, that last one was an exaggeration. But that's what is happening. When you present your writing for evaluation it has to speak for itself. It's like sending your child out into the world, sometime you have to let him or her go. You won't be there to make excuses to every person they meet. Sometimes it is the reader, but listening to feedback is the only way you'll know what the reader thinks and feels. The message is out, and the reader can only receive what you sent.

When you get feedback you should listen to it, even if you don't agree. If you can get feedback from multiple sources then that's even better. When you get feedback that you think is way off base, listen to it and try to find out what the reader is saying. They might give horrible feedback, and they're probably extremely rude, ignorant, petty, or some other bad thing. However, most criticism usually has some usable basis.

I listened to an interview with Mary Robinette Kowal and she said that she usually gets a few kinds of feedback. Some she agrees with, some was just obvious and she missed it, and some of the feedback just makes her want to cuss. That last kind is often the most useful, if you can get to the bottom of it.

SO...don't talk when getting feedback. In the end you are the one who has the last say in your work. Listen to everyone you can and get as much feedback as possible. Then apply your skill as a writer. You are the artist. Your name is on the work. You can ignore them or listen to them, but you the only way you can change how they feel about the work is to change the work and let it speak for itself.

In the end,that's what this post is about. You've created something, and now your work is saying, "Mommy, I can do it all by myself."

Now, there are important times to talk with others about your work. For me that's an essential part of the creative process. I'll talk about that next post.